He could talk the gate off its hinges. He could talk the hide off a cow. He could talk the ears off a mule. She speaks ten words a second, with gusts to fifty. Her tongue is plumb tuckered. She beats her own gums to death. He blew in on his own wind. She has a bell clapper instead of a tongue.
He was vaccinated with a Victrola needle. Nervous as a whore in church. All cut up like a boardinghouse pit.
Grinning like a mule eating cockleburs. Nervous as a pregnant jenny. Nervous as a fly in the glue pot. Nervous as a woodshed waiter. You were too hard to raise to take chances. A dead snake can still bite. A dead bee can still sting. Even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while. What did you do with the money your mama gave you for singing lessons?
Were you raised in a barn? Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Even the chickens under the porch know that. You smell like you want to be left alone. Go peddle your own produce. Go cork your pistol. Whatever greases your wagon. Got a big hole in the fence. I got my ox in a ditch. He loaded the wrong wagon.
They hung the wrong horse thief. He ripped his britches.
Preaching to the choir. Burning daylight. Arguing with a wooden Indian. Whistling up the wind. Hollering down a well. He broke his arm patting himself on the back. He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.see
Drunker than who shot John. Snot-slinging drunk. Drunk as Cooter Brown. Drunk as a skunk. Tighter than bark on a log. A hangover. Calling for Earl. Throwing up. Jugging and jawing. You got her drunk, you take her home. Commode-hugging, knee-walking drunk. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog.
As welcome as an outhouse breeze. As welcome as screwworm. As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. As welcome as a wet shoe.
Slate’s Use of Your Data
As welcome as a tornado on a trail drive. Like trying to bag flies. Like putting socks on a rooster. Easy as pissing up a rope. He blames everything on the weather or his raising.
He got caught in his own loop. He came close to the dollar knife. Bright as a new penny. Smart as a hooty owl. No flies on my mama. Smart as a whip. If a duck had his brain, it would fly north for the winter. He carries his brains in his back pocket. Dumb as dirt. Dumb as a box of rocks. Dumb as a barrel of hair. Dumb as a post. Dumb as a wagon wheel. Dumb as a prairie dog. Dumb as a watermelon. Dumb enough for twins. He could screw up an anvil. He gave me the wire-brush treatment.
I got sandpapered. He got his tail feathers trimmed. He sure cleaned your plow. Not what I had my face fixed for. Like hugging a rose bush.
- Self Talk.
- Unternehmensführung 300 Lösungen zu Band 2 Multiple Choice (Unternehmensführung Repetitorium) (German Edition);
- Garth Williams.
Nothing to write home about. Confused as a goat on AstroTurf. Loose as ashes in the wind. Loose as a bucket of soot.