The Single Woman: How to Survive as a Single Woman in this Day in Age

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They come to me because they want to lose their menopausal tummies. Yet, dig a little deeper, and what they really want to divest themselves of is the big lump in the armchair called their husband. Their comfort eating and drinking is often a symptom of their unhappiness — but a fear of being alone stops them from tackling the real problem.

I am lucky though. My mother is pretty self-sufficient, for now. My children are becoming more independent and this is my golden time. I can do as I please. I can be fabulously, unashamedly selfish. I can go on holiday when and where I want, I can eat the food I fancy and spend my money exactly as I please. Of course, having three children, aged nine, 13 and 16, does clip my wings a bit.

I Ate One Meal a Day For a Month, See What Happened to Me

And indeed, concern for them is another important factor in why I am not flinging myself at the first available man. But, even if that were an option having teen children is a pretty good boyfriend repellent, I find , I am still very, very picky. Do we fancy fewer people as we get older? Or maybe our patience for bad or boring behaviour is lessened by the ebbing of a biological need or ability to reproduce.

It certainly takes courage to be single in your fifties. Those who remain married into their fifth decade can sometimes wear their marriage like a status symbol. But role models for a new normal are emerging. The fact that you are now financially free to make good, sound money decisions is one of the most positive, powerful changes in your life.

So is your newly encumbered ability to work and earn more money. You don't have to play to anyone's ego anymore. Do not start to dream and strategize about how the next man will be your meal ticket to a better financial future. Maybe one day you'll couple with a man who is at least if not more successful for you, and than you, which will bolster your financial security. Even then, you need to take care of yourself, and your finances, and build a life and wealth as an independent adult woman.

Because you are, and you can. But remember this: That money could go away any time. Plus: It is critical to your ability to move on emotionally in this phase of life if you are not connected to your ex and your former life through bi-weekly payments. Ignore those people, and contend with those messages in your own mind I've had them, trust me! Worries about living out of a car that I didn't even own, visions of constantly struggling. Instead, surround yourself with successful, positive people.

Identify successful single moms in your own life, or in the world. Cocoon in messages of what is possible. You absorb it by osmosis. Single moms are statistically poorer and more stressed out with kids who don't do so great when compared with other families. That is not a sentence for your life.

You can do whatever you want, but you have to do it through the lens of a person, a professional, a woman. Were you offered a promotion of your dreams, but consider not taking it because the travel will permanently damage your kids? Has any man ever in the history of mankind ever had that thought?!

When Christmas Sends You Running

Take the freaking promotion, hire a wonderful babysitter to help you out, get a housekeeper for crying out loud, and show your kids — and the world! Having a budget for your money is one of the most important things that you can do for your finances and jump-start your journey to a rich single life, but nobody wants to sit down with a spreadsheet. Thanks to Tiller. One of the best advantages of Tiller is that it syncs with all of your bank accounts and credit cards and categorized all of your transactions. Read more: What every single parent needs to know about taxes.

I go into the reasons why in my post here. Read more : How to use credit repair to improve your credit score. Compare this to the 64 percent of successful retirees those who claimed to be comfortable in their retirement who saved and invested during their 20s and 30s — prime baby-making and raising years!

Short-term goals might be to pay off a credit card bill, build an emergency savings account, or make more than you spend. Find the best, high-yield savings accounts for single moms here.

R29 Original Series

If you decide to use start retirement investing with Ellevest , you can get started investing in a matter of hours. All that you have to do is create an account, set your financial goals, and answer a few simple questions. They continue to shift your investments around the closer that you get to your goals and automatically reinvest any money that you make. Related post: How to get started investing for women.

That is not a sentence for the rest of your life. Were you offered the promotion of your dreams, but consider not taking it because the travel will permanently damage your kids? Has any many ever in the history of mankind ever had that thought?! Go after that promotion, hire a wonderful babysitter to help you out, get someone to clean your house for crying out loud, and show your kids — and the world! Living your greatest potential is the best gift any mother can give her children, and the world. One of the biggest mistakes single moms make is they prioritize saving for their kids' college over their own financial futures.

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‘I’m 63 and I’ve been single my whole life’

Compare that with just 26 percent of other modern families who say the same, according to this Allianz survey. The reason may also be that the moms themselves have struggled financially, and hope to lessen that struggle for their kids. Your kid can get loans for school, you can't get loans for retirement.

Financial pros will tell you that retirement savings trump college on all fronts: more tax benefits, longer vestment periods and a higher priority overall. Plus, your kids will be super irritated if they have to support you when you're old and you could have made better decisions.


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Read more about single moms and life insurance in this post. Nobody wants to think about tragedy striking their family, but not planning for the worst is one of the worst mistakes that you could make. HavenLife, a MassMutual product, has a quick and simple quote process. You can read more in this HavenLife review. Nationwide , one of the oldest insurance companies in the country, is also one of the highest-rated. A key perk is the ability to speak on the phone with an insurance specialist, who will make sure you have the right coverage.

Get a quote from Nationwide in under a minute. If you are aged 50 or older, you should also look into long-term care insurance, which I explain in this post. There is no point in paying off a credit card bill if it means you work so much that you never see your kids or have time to exercise. Every person and family is different. I can't tell you what your quality of life goals should be. That requires some deep digging. Take some time to sit down and decide how you want to balance your money and family.

For some people, they can take on a little extra work with a side hustle to pay off some debts. Decide today to increase your income, your credit, your bottom line. Recalibrate your energy into a wealth zone. There are hundreds of ways single moms can make money from home, in your spare-time without having to wait tables on the weekend.

Here is my list of top career-level, work-at-home jobs that can earn you in the six-figures or more.

Invest in a dishwasher and spend that extra time studying for a degree that will earn you more money. Instead, focus on the realities of your own life, which include a WHOLE lot of abundance: that you live in a time and place of untold opportunities and rights for women, that you have many successful single mom peers in the world, that you have access to technology which empowers you with information on how to do anything at all — including making a ton of money. Going through a divorce can turn your whole life upside down, and it can take a long time to recover from the emotional and financial stress, but it can be done.

Single & Surviving as a Woman

The tips above are just a few of the simple ways that you can take control of your finances and ensure that your own your way to a rich life as a single mom. If you have any questions about any of the tips that I listed, or you want to share your own, please feel free to add them in the comment section below. Single moms might get out of rock-bottom poverty mode, but they often fail to truly break free from mindsets that hold them back from their true potential. I often see single moms who blame their exes for their financial limits, complaining that failure to pay child support means they can't go back to school to earn a higher degree, and therefore make more money.

Others say that the lack of their ex's involvement means that they work the hours required to qualify for a promotion. Others blame their family status for not taking on big risks like starting a new business, taking a demanding new job, or otherwise stretching their professional or financial comfort zone, citing needing to be home more, or lack of support as the reason.

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